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How to make friends when you’re an adult

Having good mates is a necessity as we go through life, but creating great friendships when you’re an adult isn’t always easy.

If you think back to when you were in kindergarten, making friends was simple – you picked someone out of the crowd and asked if you could sit with them and voila, friendship made.

Now, as an adult, getting a new buddy on board isn’t quite as simple. Psychologist and Chief Operating Officer of Lysn, Tahnee Schulz, reveals how to successfully “friend date”.

Starting out

“As we get older we can feel a little bit awkward and vulnerable making friends,” Tahnee says.

Just like going on a date with a romantic partner, that first move can be fraught with anxiety.

“If you find that you are attracted to someone’s qualities and you’d like to stay in touch, it’s important not to put pressure on the other person to reciprocate,” Tahnee explains.

It may seem obvious, but remember that if it’s not organically working, it’s not the right friendship for either of you.

First “date”

So, you’ve decided to catch up, but what do you do? Tahnee suggests trying to do something that is fun and engaging.

“As adults, our lives are often busy, so killing two birds with one stone can be a great option,” she adds. “Invite them to play a sport, watch a band play or join you out with a mutual group of friends.”

The main thing is to keep the interactions relaxed and casual.

Also, don’t be put off if they can’t make the time you suggest. If they follow up with an alternative catch up, it’s likely they want to get to know you better, too.

The end of the night

By this point you will have a good idea about whether you felt a spark of friendship, or not.

And just like romantic dating, regardless of whether this leads to a lifelong friendship or simply an acquaintance, it’s great practise for future friend dates.

In the end, it’s worth it as you might just find your friend soul mate.